When does depression end?
Where I live it’s spring.
And although I’m hesitant even to think it, let alone commit it to pixels, I sensed recently that it could be spring both inside and outside my head.
That’s not to say that the possibility of unseasonal stormy weather should be discounted, but there may be some warm days ahead with good conditions for personal growth and family harmony.
One of the reasons for this intra-cranial awakening may be that I have stopped taking anti-depressant medication, after a prolonged withdrawal process which I’ll write more about elsewhere.
Perhaps my brain is happy to be free from attack by those intrusive and ill-directed chemical warheads. Or perhaps it’s a kind of reverse placebo effect – I had no faith in the anti-depressants, so once I stopped taking them I began to feel better.
Then again, maybe it’s because I’ve been more open and honest about my condition lately with some of the most important people in my life.
Or perhaps it’s to do with some impending work/life changes that we’re hoping to make.
Or could it be a seasonal adjustment thing?
Or a complete illusion?
The point is that I don’t know and it seems to me that nobody else could know either.
There’s no simple explanation for the onset of depression and no apparent consensus about the best way to treat depression. So, it seems to follow, that there’s no way of knowing why the veil of depression may have lifted for me now or whether it may yet fall again some time soon.
That’s one of the major problems I have with depression. It’s too bloody vague and full of uncertainties.
Oh dear, just writing about it is getting me down.
Maybe it’s not the end of the winter for this malcontent.
It May Be Winter Outside) But In My
Heart Head It’s Spring, by the Love Unlimited Orchestra, originally released in 1974, written and arranged the incomparable Barry White.