When Does Depression End and Why?

by Martin

in A Depression Blog

When does depression end? Springtime?

When does depression end?

Where I live it’s spring.

And although I’m hesitant even to think it, let alone commit it to pixels, I sensed recently that it could be spring both inside and outside my head.

That’s not to say that the possibility of unseasonal stormy weather should be discounted, but there may be some warm days ahead with good conditions for personal growth and family harmony.

One of the reasons for this intra-cranial awakening may be that I have stopped taking anti-depressant medication, after a prolonged withdrawal process which I’ll write more about elsewhere.

Perhaps my brain is happy to be free from attack by those intrusive and ill-directed chemical warheads. Or perhaps it’s a kind of reverse placebo effect – I had no faith in the anti-depressants, so once I stopped taking them I began to feel better.

Then again, maybe it’s because I’ve been more open and honest about my condition lately with some of the most important people in my life.

Or perhaps it’s to do with some impending work/life changes that we’re hoping to make.

Or could it be a seasonal adjustment thing?

Or a complete illusion?

The point is that I don’t know and it seems to me that nobody else could know either.

There’s no simple explanation for the onset of depression and no apparent consensus about the best way to treat depression. So, it seems to follow, that there’s no way of knowing why the veil of depression may have lifted for me now or whether it may yet fall again some time soon.

That’s one of the major problems I have with depression. It’s too bloody vague and full of uncertainties.

Oh dear, just writing about it is getting me down.

Maybe it’s not the end of the winter for this malcontent.


It May Be Winter Outside) But In My Heart Head It’s Spring, by the Love Unlimited Orchestra, originally released in 1974, written and arranged the incomparable Barry White.

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Father, husband, writer and website publisher, discontented in his day-job, he writes here about depression - his own and in general. You can follow Too Depressed on Twitter. Please share the content on this site with all your friends, followers and contacts using the buttons above.

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Andrew September 20, 2011 at 9:26 pm

It sounds to me like maybe you’ve found a stronger ‘sense of self’?

Like you said that you’re being more honest about your condition. It sounds like you are giving yourself the attention you deserve. Like recognising that those feelings are VALID even if they are not desirable.

Maybe those depressing feelings have been screaming out to be recognized as important?
For you to learn from them? I DON’T KNOW EITHER! ha

For me, overcoming and staying out of depression has come with a greater sense of myself and feeling connected to my body and the universe.

And Spring is a beautiful time of year where it’s easy to see all the miracles in this world all around you. There’s so much to appreciate and be thankful for. Gratitude is a healing thing!

I love this article, it really got me thinking! ha, thanks,

Andrew recently posted..How to Overcome Depression and Achieve More!My Profile


Adam Alvarado March 15, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Thanks for sharing dude!I like the spring inside and outside your head idea. I wonder, though, how much of the up and down is from just going of the meds and your chemical balance being all effed up or whatever. Anyway hope it stays spring between your ears…
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Ellen Dyson June 2, 2012 at 1:26 pm

I’m glad you are in a good spot now. It’s so nice when we come out of a dark episode and into the light. I think being open and honest probably has helped too. I noticed the more honest I am about my depression and the episodes I face with it the faster I move through the dark times. I don’t know if that’s just part of getting older or learning to live with my depression but whatever can get me through an episode faster I’m all for it. Your post made me think of my favorite quote about depression by Albert Camus – “In the midst of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.”
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Martin June 2, 2012 at 2:20 pm

Hi Ellen
Thanks for those thoughts. That post was written a while ago and there have been some ups and downs since then.

I think that seasonal language is quite useful when thinking about one’s depression because the idea of inevitable change associated with the seasons is a good one to hang onto as we battle through what seems like an interminable winter.

I love Camus’ idea of the ‘invincible summer’. Where I live, winter is just now beginning and coincidentally today I was driving past a shop that had a quote from Percy Bysshe Shelley on its front window: “If winter comes, can spring be far behind?.”

It was being used to promote spring fashions, but I like the sentiment, even though I’d usually align myself with Camus’ existentialism rather than Shelley’s romanticism. Any port in a storm, I suppose.


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